632. most hated mrt passengers

Rant of the day: Time passes damn quickly...

After 4 days away from work, it's back to office desk tomorrow. Can't imagine how much work I'll need to follow up. Sickening. And not only that, will still need to fight the train crowd. Damn... After so many years of squeezing, I've came up with the following most hated passengers.

The pole dancers

If dancing in clubs ain't enough, the poles in the mrts make a good choice to practise the moves. These peoples' eyes are basically blind that there are people who really need to hold onto the poles to stable themselves, especially with all the squeezing and pushing.

I bet their backbone are missing too. Not letting anyone else uses the pole, they must lean against it to act as a supplement backbone.

I suggest these "dancers" to either see a psychiatrist to get rid of their urge to dance in train for the former or visit the doctor to implant a new backbone for the latter.

The news encyclopedia

They simply can't live without reading news. They need news to survive. They need news to breathe. And the worse thing is, they must read that Today or MyPaper in a pack-like-sardine train! When there is barely any more space to stand, these "encyclopedia" ought to be shot.

Sometimes, they even require a reading table. So fortunately (or unfortuantely) there's always another person standing in front of them with their back facing them. Just nice! It acts perfectly to rest their papers on them.

I suggest these people to stay at home and watch the news instead. The other way to tell these people that they are irritating is the "table" to turn around and punch them in their face. I'll love to see that in train. Haha...

The loud hailer

As if the morning alarm clock isn't loud enough. These walking alarm clock will sure keep you awake. From what I observed, they usually comprises of the following people:
1) Cheenas (you know who I meant)
2) Old and "deaf" uncles
3) Women who had a bad night with their better half and their darling decides to "hush" back in early morning

Not only ensuring you to stay awake throughout your entire journey, they are generous enough to share with you their conversation! But seriously, I don't need their generosity.

I suggest these people to eat heaty food everyday so that they get a seriously bad throat and can shuddap... just shuddap shuddap... shuddap... just shuddap shuddap...

The Great Singapore Sale lau jiaos

They seriously put what they know to good use -- PUSH! When it is already obvious that there is barely any breathing space left within the cabin, they decide to use their talent to "pack" everyone in and yet, able to make ample space for themselves to stand.

And I thought GSS will only start next month or something like that. Anyway, with their "apologetic" sorry and "innocent" look, they make everyone wanna forgive them. I had this auntie who usually board from Toa Payoh. She'll run in and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze to the pole, ensuring that she can grab one of it. Then, she'll look around and say "sorry" but seriously, it doesn't work. All those around look damn pissed!

I suggest these lau jiaos to take cab. There is no need to practise their pushing talent since they are born with it.

The air freshener

They ensure you get the freshest air early in the morning. It's so fresh that will keep you awake at all times and trying very hard to avoid them at all cost. They may seems normal but just take a slightly deeper breath will be good enough to let that stench circulates within your nostril for hours!

Seriously, do they at least bother to take a simple bath before going to work? Even if they don't bother to keep themselves fresh, at least don't let the rest to smell like them. There's this short and fat man who will board from Ang Mo Kio. Not sure if he had bathe but he sure to gel his hair tightly to his scalp. Then, you will see ALOT of dandruff. Next, the smell comes... Gross!

I suggest their colleagues to buy them a can of deodorant for their birthday to tell them they STINK like shit!

The blind mice

As usual, the gracious passengers will all fall asleep the moment a pregnant lady or really feeble elder boards the train. It's like as if these people carries sleeping bugs.

These people can be easily spot. One moment they are meddling with their iPods, handphones or just simply reading their papers. And next moment when a pregnant woman stand in front of them, they doze off... Right... How convenient the tactic is...

I suggest these blind mice to get themselves pregnant to know how tiring it is to carry another life inside. If they are men, get fat... and I mean REALLY FAT! That is call putting one self into the other's shoes.

So, please don't be these peeps and if you already are, please change. Don't be another pest!